Don’t Matter to Me, I’m Bi-S…

You gotta read this all the way through. I found it in the neighborhood paper that comes ‘round once a month. It’s about a proprietor who ran a business for thirty years and…

Managed 1,800 employees without modern technology. Still, the kindly old gent had seven children with wives, 13 grandkids, and 2 great-grandchildren. Eventually they convinced him to join Twitter and Facebook so he could communicate in a modern sort o’ way.

B 1He also bought a Blackberry. It won’t be too bad he thought until…

The phone beeped every three minutes with details about all the movements of every moment except the bathroom. “I am not ready to live like this,” the man recoiled and dumped the cell phone into his golf bag.

Next thing, the kids bought him a GPS for his birthday ‘cause he got lost occasionally. The senior tossed that in a box under his tool bench along with the Blue tooth phone. He’s suppose to use that when he drives.

B 2
Actually, he thought the GPS looked pretty smart on the dash-board, but didn’t care much for the woman inside that gadget. She was annoying and rude. Every ten minutes she would say “ Reeecalculating” in a most sarcastic tone, as if she could barely stand him.

The worst part was when she told him to make a U-turn at the light and would sigh deeply if he turned right instead. It just wasn’t a good relationship. Besides, he could call his wife if there was a problem.

Truth be told, he could hardly tolerate the cordless phones in the house. After four years, he still can’t figure out how three phones can get lost all at once. Hidin’ under cushions, inside the bathroom and dirty laundry baskets.

The confused, retired old man has decided the world is just too complicated. “They even mess me up when I go to the grocery store,” he complained. “You would think they could settle something themselves, but this ‘paper or plastic’ every time I check out knocks me for a loop.

Now I toss it back to them when they ask. I just say, ‘Doesn’t matter to me, I’m bi-sacksual.’ Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.”

May Your Glass Always Be Half Full

News from home: Well, the hand still hurts some but it’s doin’ okay. I’m gonna do a little yard work today. I can hear Grannymar yellin’ at me now. But this is a big place and the work ain’t gonna do itself.

Don’t know ‘bout you but I can’t stop laughing at that “bi-sackual” line, it’s just hysterical. When someone says ‘paper or plastic’ to me, I reply: “That’s fine.”

About Maxi

Hi … I'm Maxi, a retiree with an addiction. I have quit: raising kids, cleaning house, cooking, doing laundry—there is no end the list—everything is done on "have to." The addiction? Writing to my last breath. blessings ~ maxi
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