Someone hates you because:
- They want to be you
- They hate themselves
- They see you as a threat
I wrote about this subject more than a year ago and many people still read it every day. A recent comment has caused me to ponder this problem again. It hits home because I’ve been there.
The first one really hurts because it slams you in the gut when you’re not looking. Let’s say you’re used to getting along with people, they like you. You’re at a new job or someone new shows up where you work. Out of the blue you’re faced with snide remarks behind your back or worse … where you can hear them.
What’s hard to understand is that you haven’t said or done anything to deserve this.
Let’s make it more personal. You go out of your way time and again to help someone you’re close to. Yet every time you help you get burned. Why?
Because the one you help is angry that they can’t help themselves. They want to be able to do what they’re asking you to do, are frustrated because they can’t. It doesn’t matter why, whether it’s their fault or not. They resent you for being able to do what they can’t. That resentment can turn to ingratitude, even hate. This can become a vicious circle.
There are other reasons someone wants to be you – they hate themselves. You’re easygoing, they are uptight. You are confident, they are unsure of themselves. You’re tall and handsome, they’re short and average. And so on.
Some people are obsessed with comparison or feeling that everyone else has it better. It doesn’t take a degree to realize this can cause self-hatred.
The third one: someone sees you as a threat. To me this can be dangerous. It can tear people apart, ruin lives.
Suppose someone in the family spreads a lie about you. It catches you off guard because things have been good lately. You can tell the family it isn’t true, ask them not to judge you on past problems.
How about work? You think everything is fine until the boss calls you into the office one day. There have been complaint calls lately from customers. You know it’s a co-worker who is making the calls but can’t prove it. If you try to explain you may come off as catty and spiteful.
What can you do? In a word, nothing. People will think what they want no matter what you say.
You must live with the truth in your heart. Only it won’t survive without…
Being true to yourself.
May Your Glass Always Be Half Full