Hi, my name is Gladys and I have a big problem. I’m only seventeen days old but my mom doesn’t like me. I think she’s scared ‘cause she never had a baby before.
Here’s another thing, I have a lot of dads. They take turns tryin’ to be my mom but—if it looks like a dad, walks like a dad, acts like a dad—I’m kinda thinkin’ it’s a dad.
There are two pretend moms here who might like me. At least that’s what my dad’s are hoping. Here is my problem: I’m a gorilla and my dads are human. Now that right there tells ya there is gonna be trouble.
I’m okay with the holdin’ and rockin’ and the baby bottle and stuff. Actually, I feel like a little princess and can’t get enough of the drinking.
Now I have big plans for down the road. You know, maybe a famous TV show like Honey BooBoo. But my dads are messin’ with the goals I want for this life.
They put on dark clothes and go around gruntin’ and carryin’ on like they wanna be a gorilla. They are taking it real slow so it won’t stress me out, and so my pretend moms will take a liking to me.
I know it’s ‘cause they love me and all but their messin’ up my plans. A gorilla only has one shot in this life and I gotta make it good. I get lots of attention now. Can you imagine when I get to be a celebrity and I’m on TV all the time?
What is gonna happen when folks find out about my past? Don’t get me wrong, I love my dads’. Only what are my chances if someone leaks the videos of them actin’ out, runnin’ around on all fours; making gorilla sounds? I’m toast. You know that right?
Maybe you could help me out. Tell my dads’ that I know the deal…
May Your Glass Always Be Half Full
Gladys thanks Delores for givin’ us the subject of “childhood goals.” She is lookin’ for advice at the other sites:
Delirious, Gaelikaa, Grannymar, Maxi, Maria SF, Ocdwriter, Padmum, Paul, Ramana, The Old Fossil and Will.