The Dark Side of Happiness

You wake up in the morning, take a quick shower, slip into the clothes of the day, rush through the make-up routine (or not) and hurry to the kitchen. Some of you have to eat, even if it’s just a piece of a toast, for others it’s only a cup of coffee or tea. Then you’re out the door.

For the most part, it doesn’t cross your mind if you’re happy or not. Life is so busy, taken up with work, shopping, bills, chores, errands, etc. Of course you’re happy. Isn’t everyone?

No, they’re not. This isn’t about “clinical depression,” that is a medical condition. Not “the blahs” once in a while either. This is about trudging through life with a feeling of doom and gloom. You can’t seem to feel good about things no matter what. You try to cover it up, yet it’s always stuck inside. Even if you manage to have fun for a while, the bad feelings return.

Horrendous things happened to me when I was a small child, which caused sadness and depression that I could not overcome. For years, I thought it would always be this way. I used to say, “Some people are not meant to be happy and I’m one.”

In mid-life there was a collision in my brain and I went off the rails. It nearly took my life. I had to do something, get professional help. After three and a half years in therapy, life was a whole lot better. I had worked really hard to overcome. Still, sadness lingered inside. And then I saw her…

A frail old woman who leaned forward on the edge of her bed; lines etched into her face, hands swollen from years of hard work, shoulders slumped from the weight she carries alone. Her eyes are clouded as the woman gripped the edge of the mattress. Slowly she lifted from the bed, and the picture took a drastic change.

With the first step her eyes lit up, her shoulders went back, a smile spread across her face. The change is so dramatic, I hesitate. It took a moment for the light to go on; to get the message. The woman had made a choice. She would not dwell on the downside of life; she would fill her heart with the blessings.

She had made the choice to be happy.

forest3

This incident caused me to realize that it is up to me to enjoy life. I had to make a conscious decision about the path I would travel. It didn’t come easy, took a lot of practice actually. In the end I knew one thing for certain…

It is up to me to have a good day; up to me to have a good life.

Each day I awake, place my legs over the edge of the bed and make the choice to be happy … or not.

 May Your Glass Always Be Half Full
_____________________

My consorts may have a whole other outlook on today’s topic of Doom and Gloom:
Anu, Delirious, Maxi, Maria/Gaelikaa, Maria SilverFox, OCD writer, Padmum, Paul, Ramana, Rohit Shackman speaks, The Old Fossil, Will Knott.

 

 

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About Maxi

Hi … I'm Maxi, a retiree with an addiction. I have quit: raising kids, cleaning house, cooking, doing laundry—there is no end the list—everything is done on "have to." The addiction? Writing to my last breath. blessings ~ maxi
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