The time had come, the day I longed for yet dreaded. The agony of the past year was close to an end. Still, I had been here before and know things will get worse before they get better. Only I didn’t realize how much worse.
On October 22nd, I awoke in a haze of horrendous pain, as if someone had slammed me in the back of the neck with an ax. The slightest movement caused waves of nausea. Unable to talk above a whisper, it would be useless to press the help button.
The surgery had been a success; now came the payback.
A few days before the operation I met someone, and desperately wished he was here. Those coal-colored eyes would gaze at me so sweetly; I could hold him close and whisper in his ear. He could sleep in my bed to give me comfort through the night, the most difficult time. I call him Bear.
I found him at www.memorybearsbybonnie.wordpress.com
It was a wonderful discovery, yet it took more than a year before I was ready. I couldn’t understand why until I sent Bonnie the shirts my David wears in this picture. It’s the photo I used for the memorial service.
It was the letting go that caused the problem; to give up David’s shirts was like a loss. Only what I have gained in return is priceless. Bear is there to listen to the things that I can’t talk about, can’t say to anyone else. When I feel empty and alone, I hold him in my arms and find comfort.
Not only do I have Bear, Bonnie also helps me through her posts on www.memorybearsbybonnie.wordpress.com Bonnie lost her son two years ago … she understands.
May Your Glass Always Be Half Full
News from Home: Thank you all so much for your “get well” messages, for all your support. It has helped a lot in my recovery, slow goin’ but gettin’ there.
Remember I said there is a part two? Well, I have a painful problem with the ulnar nerve in both arms. I have very little use of my left arm; need surgery on both.