My hands shake as I post this article; it reveals much of my private life which is sooo hard to do. Still, if it helps just one…
It begins with…
“I can’t do it. It’s too hard. Everyone will laugh at me.” Words like these haunted me…
Ever since childhood it has been impossible to overcome the feelings of inadequacy, never being good enough. The tendency to hold back becomes even stronger when school starts. It is so painful to stand in front of the class to read an essay; I am an A student, yet take a lesser grade because I can’t do that. It is always lonely amid the group on the playground.
High School is almost unbearable. It isn’t just being shy; it’s the lack of assurance within. There is that desperation of wanting to fit in, to join the clubs, to belong. Without the nerve to try, there are many missed opportunities all through school.
The problem persists, affects life in every way – destroyed relationships with men, missed chances at work, disrupted friendships.
I go to the doctor and he prescribes pills. When they no longer get the job done, I’m put on the patch. This is pretty good, but only for a while. Then I start injections. Aah, this is the best, works great.
I’m home free until…
The doctor checks my records and discovers that I had cancer in my early thirties. No more ERT (estrogen replacement therapy) for me. I’m on my own.
While menopause was hard, it also saved me. Oh yes! It turned my life around.
When I was young menopause was called “The Change of Life.” It wasn’t talked about openly the way it is now. Women whispered at the table when they discussed “The Change.” We girls knew it was all about making women act weird, aaand it was really bad. We heard it might even drive you crazy. One thing we knew for sure, it changed women.
Well, by the time I finished menopause, I was changed, only not in the way I had expected. I had become a person with confidence, perseverance, not afraid to face a challenge.
At forty-eight I started working out at the gym; next I became an aerobics instructor; after that I dealt in collectibles and antiques. Then I ran my own boutique for years.
Now it is writing, a passion I’ve had all my life … an addiction actually. I set up a website http://maximalone.com , a blog http://maxiscomments.com and Twitter http://twitter.com/@maxi8. I have also written two novels with a third in progress.
These accomplishments didn’t happen overnight. It took place gradually, without me giving it a great deal of thought. When it hit me what I have done, it took a long while to get over the shock.
So, there you have it, this is my story. In spite of the hardship, I will be forever grateful to menopause. I want women to know that they don’t have to fear this interruption in their life, there are also benefits…
Especially for those of us who walk on the light side.
May Your Glass Always Be Half Full