Should It Be Burial or Cremation?

Back in April 2010 I wrote a post on this issue. I’m talking about it again because there is still so much interest.

My husband and I talked for weeks about a funeral or cremation. The first time we mentioned cremation it didn’t make us feel good. And then…

Life made the decision for us. It was one of those spells where there was one disaster after another. When our dog of eighteen years died, that was it. We had her cremated and knew…

It was time for us to make a decision of our own; it was cremation.

David wanted so much for our ashes to be scattered over his parent’s grave in Cleveland, Ohio. When he called to make the arrangements, he was told it’s against the law. Then I read an article about a church in Columbus that has a garden where it’s permissible to spread a loved one’s ashes.

Since we couldn’t scatter the ashes, David wanted them placed in an urn and this caused our biggest problem. I was absolutely opposed to this. It’s a responsibility that you pass on to someone else. I can’t do that.

Some of you will probably catch your breath here; we decided not to have a service. I don’t want this, I won’t be there. If you want to see me than do it while I’m alive. Don’t come when I have passed on and don’t know you’re there. Have a gathering among yourselves, or by yourself, make peace with your own feelings.

Then something happened that changed everything…

On August 20, 2011 it was time for me to face my own reality … my beloved David passed away.

Once again, life took over. My husband was cremated, and yes, I had a service for David. He was so loved, had many friends and I realized that they needed this. Not only them, our children. I can tell you had it been just me, I would not have done it.

Still, the service was a happy one. I put together a slide show of all the happy moments with David over the years. One-by-one friends stood up and told of their relationship with him. And then, the chaplain told “our story.”

Life took care of something else when David was in the hospital; his ashes. The subject came up and son David said he would like to have his dad’s ashes. It rattled me and I said this had already been decided, arrangements had been made for the crematorium to dispose of his ashes.

Within moments, I came back and said yes. Of course, David would want his son to have his ashes.

Whatever you decide let your family know; put it on paper. Don’t put the responsibility on someone else.

May Your Glass Always Be Half Full


About Maxi

Hi … I'm Maxi, a retiree with an addiction. I have quit: raising kids, cleaning house, cooking, doing laundry—there is no end the list—everything is done on "have to." The addiction? Writing to my last breath. blessings ~ maxi
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