I Don’t Wanna Grow Up

Don’t know who wrote this but I couldn’t stop laughing…

Image Credit/kaboodle.com

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair
3) If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato
5) You can’t trust dogs to watch your food
6) Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time
8) You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk
9) Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts
10) The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandma’s lap

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree
2) Wrinkles don’t hurt
3) Families are like fudge … mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground
5) Laughing is good exercise; it’s like jogging on the inside
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD:
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions
6) Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus
2) You don’t believe in Santa Claus
3) You are Santa Claus
4) You look like Santa Claus

SUCCESS IS:
At age 4   success is . . .  not piddling in your pants
At age 12 success is . . .  having friends
At age 17 success is . . .  having a driver’s license
At age 35 success is . . .  having money
At age 50 success is . . .  having money
At age 70 success is . . .  having a driver’s license
At age 75 success is . . .  having friends
At age 80 success is . . .  not piddling in your pants

May Your Glass Always Be Half Full

____________________________

Read a chapter of Maxi’s novel
Over the Edge
http://maximalone.com

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About Maxi

Hi … I'm Maxi, a retiree with an addiction. I have quit: raising kids, cleaning house, cooking, doing laundry—there is no end the list—everything is done on "have to." The addiction? Writing to my last breath. blessings ~ maxi
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