Americans Bewildered At Traveling

I ran across these travel stories when I was doing research awhile back. Believe it or not they’re true …

Travel Agents report:

I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that his or her hair wouldn’t
get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii.  After going
over all the cost info, she asked, “Would it be cheaper to fly to
California and then take the train to Hawaii?”

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Cape Town.  I started
to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when
she interrupted me with “I’m not trying to make you look stupid, but
Cape Town is in Massachusetts. Without trying to make her look like
the stupid one, I calmly explained, “Cape Cod is in Massachusetts,
Cape Town is in Africa.”  Her response… click.

A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what
was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting
an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, “Don’t lie to me. I
looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state.”

I got a call from a man who asked, “Is it possible to see England from
Canada?” I said, “No.” He said “But they look so close on the map.”

Another man called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When
I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had a 1-hour layover in
Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, “I
heard Dallas was a big airport, and I need a car to drive between the
gates to save time.”

A nice lady just called. She needed to know how it was possible that
her flight from Detroit left at 8:20am and got into Chicago at 8:33
am.  I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois,
but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally I told
her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A woman called and asked, “Do airlines put your physical description
on your bag so they know who’s luggage belongs to who?” I said,
“No, why do you ask?” She replied, “Well, when I checked in with the
airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said FAT, and I’m
overweight, is there any connection?” After putting her on hold for a
minute while I “looked into it” (I was actually laughing) I came back
and explained the city code for Fresno is FAT, and that the airline was
just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

I just got off the phone with a man who asked, “How do I know
which plane to get on?” I asked him what exactly he meant, which
he replied, “I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these
darn planes have numbers on them.”

A woman called and said, “I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those
computer planes.” I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a
commuter plane. She said, “Yeah, whatever.”

A businessman called and had a question about the documents he
needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I reminded him he needed a visa. “Oh no I don’t, I’ve
been to China many times and never had to have one of those.”
I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When
I told him this he said, “Look, I’ve been to China four times and
every time they have accepted my American Express.”

A woman called to make reservations, “I want to go from Chicago to
Hippopotamus, New York” The agent was at a loss for words. Finally,
the agent: “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?” “Yes, what
flights do you have?” replied the customer. After some searching, the
agent came back with, “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’ve looked up every airport
code in the country and can’t find a Hippopotamus anywhere.” The
customer retorted, “Oh don’t be silly. Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!” The agent scoured a map of the state of New York
and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?” “That’s it! I
knew it was a big animal!”

Warning: I took a look at and it has changed … most pages now contain references to adult material.

May Your Glass Always Be Half Full


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About Maxi

Hi … I'm Maxi, a retiree with an addiction. I have quit: raising kids, cleaning house, cooking, doing laundry—there is no end the list—everything is done on "have to." The addiction? Writing to my last breath. blessings ~ maxi
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