My hands shake as I post this article; it reveals much of my private life which is sooo hard to do. Still, if it helps just one…
It begins with…
“I can’t do it. It’s too hard. Everyone will laugh at me.” Words like these haunted me…
Ever since childhood it has been impossible to overcome the feelings of inadequacy, never being good enough. The tendency to hold back becomes even stronger when school starts. It is so painful to stand in front of the class to read an essay; I am an A student, yet take a lesser grade because I can’t do that. It is always lonely amid the group on the playground.
High School is almost unbearable. It isn’t just being shy; it’s the lack of assurance within. There is that desperation of wanting to fit in, to join the clubs, to belong. Without the nerve to try, there are many missed opportunities all through school.
The problem persists, affects life in every way – destroyed relationships with men, missed chances at work, disrupted friendships.
And then…
Middle age comes along and something incredible happens. I start to feel weird and my body turns on me. It’s that dreaded Menopause: a nightmare of hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, etc.
I go to the doctor and he prescribes pills. When they no longer get the job done, I’m put on the patch. This is pretty good, but only for a while. Then I start injections. Aah, this is the best, works great.
I’m home free until…
The doctor checks my records and discovers that I had cancer in my early thirties. No more ERT (estrogen replacement therapy) for me. I’m on my own.
While menopause was hard, it also saved me. Oh yes! It turned my life around.
When I was young menopause was called “The Change of Life.” It wasn’t talked about openly the way it is now. Women whispered at the table when they discussed “The Change.” We girls knew it was all about making women act weird, aaand it was really bad. We heard it might even drive you crazy. One thing we knew for sure, it changed women.
Well, by the time I finished menopause, I was changed, only not in the way I had expected. I had become a person with confidence, perseverance, not afraid to face a challenge.
At forty-eight I started working out at the gym; next I became an aerobics instructor; after that I dealt in collectibles and antiques. Then I ran my own boutique for years.
Now it is writing, a passion I’ve had all my life … an addiction actually. I set up a website http://maximalone.com , a blog http://maxiscomments.com and Twitter http://twitter.com/@maxi8. I have also written two novels with a third in progress.
These accomplishments didn’t happen overnight. It took place gradually, without me giving it a great deal of thought. When it hit me what I have done, it took a long while to get over the shock.
So, there you have it, this is my story. In spite of the hardship, I will be forever grateful to menopause. I want women to know that they don’t have to fear this interruption in their life, there are also benefits…
Especially for those of us who walk on the light side.
May Your Glass Always Be Half Full
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Well said Maxi!! I think I am peri-menopausal now – I have the hot flushes (as we Brits call them), the insomnia, the forgetfulness, the irregular cycle etc and the mood swings, oh boy the mood swings! But you have shone a light at the end of the tunnel, thank you.
It is great to hear the “change” being portrayed as the chance to start a new chapter, a new beginning, new outlooks, new passions and most of all a “togetherness of soul” that we women somehow compromise during the time we are bringing up our children.
Keep writing, keep shining your light, keep strong
Thank you, Pam. You opened my eyes to something also. I never realized how much we compromise “self” while raising our children.
Blessings – Maxi
I have to agree with you, Maxi. The transition (perimenopause) was the difficult time, never knowing what to expect–how the lowered estrogen level affects your particular body. But once you get through that, life is good! And to remember back when I thought 30 was old! lol
Thanks for sharing your personal experience Maxi. Lots of evidence for those of us who believe that God works every day, if I am awake enough to see it.
Yes Slam, God works in our lives all the time. It’s up to us to let Him in, to let it happen.
Blessings – Maxi
I read this with hope and encouragement, Maxi. Thank you for sharing your story. I’m actually anxiously waiting for menopause, as perimenopause seems to be lingering a bit too long for my taste. Alas, I need not wish it away, all in due time, eh?
Three cheers for you! (And, thanks for the tip. I’ll put off exercising until I am 48. Just over 5 more years!)
I had to check out perimenopause before this response, Lenore. Once you are in menopause everything becomes extreme. One thing I did was not to allow menopause to control me … or my life.
You have to deal with the physical, yet you can determine whether or not you will allow the emotional affects to dominate. It’s a battle for some, but you seem to be a positive person and this will get you through the tough times.
Blessings – Maxi
Bravo Maxi! Menopause is indeed a gift to women. Thank you for your courageous story.
Hugs!
Jeannie
A big hug for your support, Jeannie. This article has stayed in my files for a couple of years because it is so revealing … and I am so private. Had to give myself a pep talk to put it out there.
Btw, just noticed the word menopause begins with MEN… Ya gotta laugh.
Blessings – Maxi
This is why men will not vote for a pre menopausal woman.
Voting did not cross my mind as I wrote this article, still gives one something to think about. Ya got a sharp mind, Carl.
Blessing – Maxi